My sometime associate Andy Wood was tryin’ to string some of his smart ass thoughts together and say some smart ass stuff about The Shithawks but I said to him, hey man, you don’t wanna go overloading your ole brain by thinkin’ it all out too much and mebbe givin’ yourself an ole brainiac. So as yer typical, straight-up lover of good ole rock ‘n’ roll I figures I’ll introduce these fine lads who put the art straight into artless with a big ole boot.
I have to say though, them goddam Shithawks be shittin’ me big time. I mean, I go to see ‘em and first up, they ain’t shit and second, yup they ain’t even hawks. I mean fer chrissakes, they ain’t even birds. Now I ain’t the smartest knife in the ole cutlery drawer but even I can suss when I’m being taken fer a ride. But, hey, what a ride it is. The Shithawks are three guys and they play some of the meanest, crudest riffs I ever did hear and they get to making the audience smile and scratch their darn heads a bit, starting off mebbe wondering like, is it a joke, is it ironic? Dammit, who cares. They are just too much fun on stage to start philosophising and all that navel gazing shenanigans. So instead I find myself standing there with a big ole shit eating grin each time I see them with their tales of suffering from that ole dick blues (me I know a thing or three about that ole thing but that’s maybe for another time) or how too much angst is bad fer you or some such stuff. All good sense in my book. They move around a lot a, kinda get very intense and growl at you a bit, but hey, it’s called punk rawk or something and it’s all kinda cool in a kinda uncool way. Which mebbe doesn’t make all that much sense so maybe you should just catch ‘em live before they explode or something crazy cos the madness is intense. The Shithawks are some heavy shit man. Hang loose and kick back with The Shithawks. They are the real shit fer sure. Now I best let ‘em speak for themselves before I git caught at this ole computer thing and lose my day pass for the next killer show these dudes play. And just mind now, your friend The Real Coca Cola wouldn’t shit yer now.
So, how is it hanging with you all at the moment?
ALL MEMBERS: Looser than ever.
Why did you chose the name The Shithawks? Has it ever caused you any problems?
ALI: Cause The Shithawks is a cool name. The only problem is that it’s too cool for some people.
DAN: It came to me in a super deep dream, about how I should form the Coolest Band of All Time and call it The Shithawks.
The main problem with that name now, besides not being printed in local press, is that it just shows you that dreams don’t actually come true.
What are your influences, musical or otherwise?
ALI: Denim, dope, liquor.
DAN: I’ll second that, especially denim. Denim is a big deal to us, including the band White Denim. Other bands that we dig include Big Business (and when they play as White Shit), Comets On Fire, BORIS, Pavement, Lovvers, and hundreds more.
Our friends who make music influence us even more though. Cool guys like UNIFORMS, Carson Wells, Min Diesel, Pinact, Kaddish, Fat Goth, Bonehouse, Playground Tactics. Even though we’re loud we like quiet dudes like Little Anchors and Gone Wishing! too.
Also Buckfast. Peeps who saw us play recently will know that.
MATT: Good timez influence a lot of what we do.
You’ve been gigging quite a bit of late. Are there any plans to release anything soon?
ALI: That’s what err’body says to us, we’re too busy hanging loose. We’ll get round to it soon nuff.
DAN: All them people out there workin’ in a office, they workin’ hard. We’re workin’ hard too. And we’re runnin’ a dog kennel at the same time.
Also we’re aiming to demo some stuff at the end of this month though and then try and record some more stuff in April. Cross yo fingers.
What is the cure to the ‘Dick Blues’?
DAN: The only way you can get over the Dick Blues is by hanging loose with some cool guys and doing stuff cool for a while. You can pick up and recover from the Dick Blues during a SHTHWKS show if you do it right.
Some of your song titles and lyrics can be a bit close to the bone. Are there any topics off limits for you?
DAN: Anything serious. SHTHWKS ain’t never serious.
ALI: Shit that ain’t dumb or cool.
If time/finance/mortality/location were no problem what would The Shithawks’ ideal gig be?
ALI: White Denim, White Shit, The Shitty Limits & The Shithawks – The Double Deuce Bar as featured in Roadhouse (1989).
DAN: I never thought about that before… Every show is good. If we played with Tom Waits I’d lose my shit, but he don’t need the company of dicks.
How to do it real cool in real life is the way that Deek and the Make-That-A-Take gang bring so many of our music bros together at Book Yer Ane Fest. And that really happens. Every year.
MATT: Ignoring all of those hurdles the IDEAL show has to be playing aboard Carl Sagan’s spaceship of the imagination. That’s mine anyway.
What has been the most memorable moment of being a Shithawk to date?
DAN: Playing out of town shows and blowing people’s minds. Making cool new friendz in Aberdeen and Glasgow and other places and shit.
ALI: Being maybe the last band to ever play the Balcony bar. And doing a really shitty job of it too.
And the most awkward/embarrassing?
DAN: Feeling the full force of a killer Book-Yer-Ane-Fest-Gallons-of-Newkie-Broon hangover just as we got up on stage. Shiter.
ALI: It’s really awkward when people come up to us after shows and say shit like “Oh hey, I really liked that” or “You guys are great!” It’s just weird and inappropriate.
What are your plans for the coming months?
DAN: We’re doing a rad mini-tour starting in Dundee on Friday the 5th, hitting sunny Dunfermline on Saturday the 6th and finishing up laid out in Embra on Sunday the 7th, feeling shitty with real jobs to go to in the morning.
Plans don’t mean shit to us. It’s all about half-baked schemes. Sometimes we come with our own half-baked schemes, sometimes other people ask us to join in on their half-baked schemes. Keep yr eyes on our Facebook page and we’ll let you know when we’re doing it cool.
ALI: Record, tour, make merch, hang looser & do it cooler than all youz! Get dumb! Shitrock for life!